Thursday, January 22, 2009

New York Closer Collection Expands

The New York Gothams added their second reliever in as many hours, dealing a pair of prospects to Hickory in exchange for 29-year-old closer Bill Dewall. Dewall, who has compiled 17 saves in half a season at Hickory (good for third in the league), will join Willie Sewell, acquired earlier in the day from Seattle, to give New York a solid pair of right-handed setup men behind lefty closer Junior Cuomo.

Hickory GM Frank Ferrara reaffirmed his deep and abiding commitment to ridding the Hickory Huskers roster of players with absolutely ridiculous names. "We believe that closers, in general, are a pretty fungible commodity," noted Ferrara, when reached for comment. "We think getting decent value in exchange for players we feel we can replace from within the organization is the key to our rebuilding."

"Mostly, though, it was the name," says Ferrara. "I mean, we got rid of Dong Lutz, because who can seriously root for a guy with the first name 'Dong?' This was the obvious next step, because 'Bill Dewall?' Seriously, 'Build a Wall?' Hickory can never be taken seriously until we stop putting guys on the scorecard who sound like they were named by J.K Rowling."

Hickory receives two prospects in return: third-baseman Carlos Pais, who has compiled solid numbers at AA Long Island and is a capable defender at three infield positions; and AA outfielder Dave Quinones, only 19. "Our scouts seem to like these guys," says Ferrara, "even if OSA thinks they're terrible. I mean, sure, Quinones is flirting with the Mendoza line right now against AA pitching. But at least he doesn't have a totally ridiculous name."

Anybody have a player named Jewell or Howell or Newell to go with Sewell and Dewall? Help me out here!
Hopefully this should beef up my already well-performing bullpen, with Toyaharu, Sewall and Dewall from the right side and Eyman from the left backing up Junior Cuomo, and let me move the underperforming Hector Orozco into the fifth starter role.
I have a Powell...close but not quite there.

Frank very good first fake news story. I look forward to many more.
Apparently everybody hates Nate. Who knew?
I agree with Jeremy - very amusing, Frank.
I knew.

*slits eyes*

I always knew.
I need to get in on this Nate-hating party.

So, umm, River Cities sucks!
So Michael, Peppers and Aikin for a AA middle reliever?
In our pre-Wild Card era, I might've considered it, on a lark. But, nah... the playoffs are still a crapshoot (right, Mack?).
Yep. I'm fully expecting to lose in the first round to a team at or below .500.

And to think I thought wild cards were a good idea. Sigh.
They ARE a good idea and you know it, law-boy.

I'm in the same level of jeopardy here, and you don't see ME complaining.
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