Thursday, January 29, 2009

Public service announcement

Hi all,

Trevor from Saskatoon here. I've been absolutely swamped over the past three weeks or so and haven't been paying as close attention to my team (i.e. any attention at all) as I'd liked. I see I'm still competitive, which is nice, but I should point out that had there been a Canadian division as I had strenuously advocated for, I would be running away with this thing.

So, this is just to say that I've gotten a few trade offers recently. I'll try to take some time to review them this weekend - assuming, of course, they still stand.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Seattle Sees Light, Becomes Nate-Lover

The Seattle Monarchs announced today that they traded reserve catcher Waylon Blassingame to River Cities in exchange for two very questionable prospects, outfielder Ernest Skelly and infielder Richard Bender. This deal ends a chapter of hatred and rivalry between Seattle Owner/GM Mack Shultz and his Ohio counterpart, Nate Wooley.

"Yeah, I've hated Nate in the past. HATED him. But then, I saw the error of my ways," Shultz said.

After the Sewell trade with New York, Shultz was relaxing, enjoying the feeling of helping to take down the River Cities behemoth, and flipping channels on the TV when he came across a telecast of a religious revival. Suddenly, Shultz realized that living with hatred and anger was really no way to live at all. He immediately embarked on intensive psychiatric counseling with Dr. Frasier Crane. Through a series of wacky adventures, culminating in a date with the delectable Daphne Moon, Shultz realized he had found peace with the universe and, more importantly, with himself.

"At that point, I realized I had to make it up to Nate. Not for Nate's sake, but for my own," Shultz explained. Scanning the River Cities' roster, Shultz saw the obvious weakness: catching. "Have you seen their stats? Terrible."

A revelation struck Shultz. He could help. A voice from above told him that the way to bring balance back into his life was to send Alberto "Nitro" Granado to River Cities for nothing.

Shultz then responded to the voice, "Stuff it. The Sewell trade wasn't that one-sided." Instead, Shultz embarked on a project to help River Cities by trading them Blassingame for nothing.

"Yeah, Nate was pretty suspicious at first," Shultz recalled. "He wouldn't take my phone calls at first. Then, instead of the standard pre-trade medical, he sent Blassingame through an explosives detection machine. It's fair to say Nate didn't trust my motives." Shultz persevered though, and eventually convinced Wooley to accept the reliable backstop.

"Everything's cool between us now," Shultz claimed. "We're going to get together later this month and make smores, sing Kumbaya, the whole thing. I'm really looking forward to spending time with my new BFF."

When asked about the impact of Blassingame on the tight Zotti League race, Shultz replied, "Screw Paul and New York. What have those miserable SOBs ever done for me?"

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Trade: River Cities and Danville

Dateline: Marietta, OH -- In a surprising turn of events today River Cities, the pride of the Muskingum River Valley, have dealt top prospect Buster Ducharme to the Danville Dans for a mixed bag of a prospect and a top draft pick.

Ducharme, who successfully made the transition to starting this season, was ranked by Baseball America as the #1 prospect in the entire league earlier this year. The eighteen year old hurler has been getting his feet wet in AA and AAA this season.

Reached in a dissolute state at an unnamed secluded cabin River Cities owner and GM Nate Wooley commented, "The kid Ducharme. You'd think he'd be, y'know, charming with that in his name or something. Instead he just spoke some sort of weird text speak thing and kept complaining that Facebook wouldn't work properly in the clubhouse. Kids. What the hell was I supposed to do? And don't forget that we're heavy on pitching prospects! Not that we need them with Villatoro, Scull, Okane and my new heartthrob, Frank Wooster. Did I mention I moved to Wooster Street in Marietta? No fooling. Call before you visit, though. Really, call. I might not be home."

Coming to River Cities from Danville is catching prospect Zachary Pettengill. Pettengill, also in his first year as a pro, is hitting .227 in single A this season but scouts are high on him, at least in River Cities. Given the weak state of River Cities depth in its catching corps it's clear that the acquisition is design to apply pressure to starter William Ward. Pettengills high power and patience potential could be a great table setting for the recently resigned John Hukill.

Marietta also received Danville's first round pick in next year's amateur draft as a part of the deal.

Sim 8 (July II): Who uploaded?





Los Angeles


New York

River Cities


Two quick administrative notes:
1. I did not sim July 31, so you have until the next sim to make trades.
2. Mack noticed that the default media contracts in 9 are a lot smaller than they were in 6.5. Assuming that there are no objections, I'm going to change the average media contract from $5M to $40M.

Next sim on Thursday


Friday, January 23, 2009

Minor Maui / New York trade

It's a sad day in New York, where just a little while after trading away long-time Gotham Stanley Edwards to Seattle, sources have revealed that the last original Gotham, third baseman Henry Diemer, has been traded to Maui.

Diemer, who hit 282 homeruns in his 10 years in New York and drove in 100 runs three times, was languishing at the end of the bench this year, after starting for the last nine years. For some reason he had gotten into the manager's doghouse. He only managed to get into 12 games all year, mostly as a pinch hitter. It probably didn't help his case when he made an error in his only fielding chance of the year.

In exchange for Diemer and a 5th round pick, New York receives back MR suspect Michael Friday.

"Well, Henry's done a lot for us over the years," said New York GM Paul Michael. "He expressed an interest in going to Maui, and we were able to make it work. Don't really understand that - why would anyone choose to be in Maui rather than New York?"

The New York GM just smiled when one reporter asked him if this trade could be described as a salary dump.

Sim Delayed

I'm sorry, guys, but I didn't get home last night until after 11. I'll run the sim on Saturday night.


Thursday, January 22, 2009

New York Closer Collection Expands

The New York Gothams added their second reliever in as many hours, dealing a pair of prospects to Hickory in exchange for 29-year-old closer Bill Dewall. Dewall, who has compiled 17 saves in half a season at Hickory (good for third in the league), will join Willie Sewell, acquired earlier in the day from Seattle, to give New York a solid pair of right-handed setup men behind lefty closer Junior Cuomo.

Hickory GM Frank Ferrara reaffirmed his deep and abiding commitment to ridding the Hickory Huskers roster of players with absolutely ridiculous names. "We believe that closers, in general, are a pretty fungible commodity," noted Ferrara, when reached for comment. "We think getting decent value in exchange for players we feel we can replace from within the organization is the key to our rebuilding."

"Mostly, though, it was the name," says Ferrara. "I mean, we got rid of Dong Lutz, because who can seriously root for a guy with the first name 'Dong?' This was the obvious next step, because 'Bill Dewall?' Seriously, 'Build a Wall?' Hickory can never be taken seriously until we stop putting guys on the scorecard who sound like they were named by J.K Rowling."

Hickory receives two prospects in return: third-baseman Carlos Pais, who has compiled solid numbers at AA Long Island and is a capable defender at three infield positions; and AA outfielder Dave Quinones, only 19. "Our scouts seem to like these guys," says Ferrara, "even if OSA thinks they're terrible. I mean, sure, Quinones is flirting with the Mendoza line right now against AA pitching. But at least he doesn't have a totally ridiculous name."

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Seattle Declares War on River Cities; Pointlessly Aids New York

In an effort to bring down its long-time rival, the Seattle Monarchs consumated a trade yesterday with the express purpose of helping New York defeat River Cities in the playoffs. Seattle sent veteran reliever Willie Sewell and his career 3.06 ERA to join the Gothams bullpen. "Screw River Cities," said GM/Owner Mack Shultz. "I'm tired of them. The Zotti Division needs new blood at the top."

Seattle packaged Sewell and $2.4 million in exchange for reliever Stanley "Albatross" Edwards and two questionable prospects--AA starter Branden Evans and A-ball outfielder Gerald "Tooth" Whitener.

Before Shultz spoke, the popular speculation was that Seattle had decided not to resign Sewell and was looking to get something for him before he walked at the end of the year. After all, with the development of Dalton Davis and Merlin Bohon, it wasn't as though Sewell was irreplaceable. Further speculation was that, given the $10M cash cap, the money included in the deal was essentially free to Seattle and would have been lost at the end of the year due to the IRS's uniquely punitive SDMB OOTP tax code. Shultz put those rumors to rest quickly though.

"We're trying to hose Nate Wooley and his paddleboating goons," Shultz emphatically delared. "I'm tired of seeing their sorry faces in the Cecil Cup. Anything I can do to bring them down is good with me.

"It's not like the guys we got are worth a damn," Shultz continued. "I mean, look at the OSA scouting reports. They're terrible. Sure, our scouting manager Lloyd Cash told me he liked them, but we all know about his delusions. I watched him yesterday carry on a conversation with an African violet for 30 minutes. His last written recommendation was that we sign a second trimester fetus to a major league contract because it had 'great upside.' The man's a loon."

When asked whether the cash sent was negligible, given the cash cap, Shultz exploded anew. "You ever write a check for $2.4 million, Mr. Reporter? Huh? It hurts. We definitely could have used that money. I've got a team of lawyers and accountants who ensure that funds are properly funnelled into baseball operations. And yes, that includes our training facility in Tahiti. Everybody knows that players train best under the capable hands of beautiful and open-minded masseuses. It helps owners too. Now, we may have to cut back to three women per player."

When reached at his villa, New York owner Paul Michael couldn't stop giggling long enough to comment.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Trade: River Cities and Cleveland

Dateline: Marietta, OH July 16, 2013. The day the baseball fans of the confluence anticipated has finally come to pass: River Cities has acquired a left fielder to fill the hole left by the season-ending injury to Alan Callahan. The newest Sternwheeler is Franklin Jackson, formerly of the Cleveland Steamers.

Jackson, currently hitting .309 with 17 home runs and 65 RBI, was dealt from the lakeside squad in return for River Cities prospects, William Midkiff (SS) and James Watts (1B). Midkiff, said to be ready for the majors right now, is hitting .279 with 3 home runs and 42 RBI at AAA Dayton is considered a strong contender to move directly to the major league level.

River Cities owner, Nate Wooley, reached at an undisclosed location having nothing to do with secret space launch facilities in the Mediterranean, declaimed, "We knew Dubreil was doing his best but it was clear he wasn't ready for the role being forced upon him. Jackson will fill in for Callahan and give Jesse time to develop."

Asked on the loss of Midkiff, a player rated the 50th best prospect in the SDMB League, Wooley replied, "I'm sure he's good, but let's be honest. Who's he going to replace? Hukill? Palacio? I doubt it. He's not even good enough to be in the same locker room with those guys. Here's hoping he's allright with those other guys."

Reached in Dayton, Midkiff said that he was glad for the opportunity. "At least I'm staying in Ohio. It's not as warm as my home at Myrtle Beach, but it'll do. How cold can it get in Cleveland, anyway?"

Reached at the Canton-Akron airport, Jackson claimed to be happy about the deal. "There are two reasons I'm truly happy right now. First, I just gained 31 games in the standing and am pretty much assured of going to the playoffs with the defending world champions. Second, I'm away from being a 'Steamer'. I mean, honestly, that's just damn embarassing. Have you seen that logo? There were times I just didn't want to take the field."

Hickory Discount Shopping

Hickory is still ready, willing, and able to deal additional talent, if any serious contender is looking to make a marginal improvement. Players on the market include:

OF - Lowell Maclin (OBP above .380 since 2011; currently hitting .359 with an OBP of .424)
OF - Alva Mendonca (Current line is .327 / .373/ .461; plays left and centerfield)
SP - Alberto Carballo (Has struggled this year, to an ERA of 4.42, but ERA under 4.00 since 2010; very low career walk rate)
RP - Bill Dewall (ERA of 3.77 and 17 saves as Hickory's closer; strikes out about a player per inning)

Inquire by e-mail at 

Friday, January 16, 2009

Seattle Ships Out Demiras

The Seattle Monarchs announced today the second trade of Tony Demiras in as many sims, shipping the former Hickory Husker on to the Danville Dans. Demiras, who had three at bats for the Monarchs during his brief 15 days on the roster, is accompanied by starting pitcher Isidro Frau. In return, the Monarchs aquired AAA reliever Joshua Stoker.

The Monarchs refused to hold their typical press conference, but the trade is believed to have stemmed from the fracas last Saturday at the Lusty Lady. Demiras and Frau were both arrested and charged with disorderly conduct and resisting arrest. The two were intoxicated and the trouble began when they started demanding "quality time" with the Lusty Lady's dancers. "We don't have to pay. We're f*&@ing Monarchs," Frau allegedly yelled.

Inside sources have stated that the Monarchs front office was infuriated. "You want to know why Demiras is being traded for the second time? You want to know why both of these guys have sucked this year?" asked one source. "Because they're always drunk and out all damn night. That's why. They're ruining their careers."

Frau, previously highly regarded for his work ethic, has never been the brightest bulb in the room. Unfortunately, he quickly fell under the influence of Tony Demiras, who has been called "Locker Room Poison" by his former teammates in Hickory.

Stoker, a strict Baptist from Dubuque, Iowa, is a well-known teetotaller who has publicly preached against the sins of his fellow players. He is expected to add a more serious and sober note to the Monarchs' locker room. Will it result in a title? Time will tell.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Sim 7 (July I): Who Uploaded?

Los Angeles
New York
River Cities

Unwanted contracts?

After trading Palacio and making a couple other moves, the Maui Mashers have some extra money to spend. Assuming that we aren't going to make any league-wide changes to the finances this year (i.e., the cash cap or allowing spending on fan interest, etc.), I'd like to put some of my extra money to productive use. If you have any contracts that you'd like to get off your books, send me an email at I'm looking for prospects and/or draft picks in return. Bonus points for anyone who sends me a popular player to help with my fan interest rating!

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

End of an Era As Mudge Leaves Seattle

In tears, Seattle Owner/GM Mack Shultz announced a franchise-changing trade today. Seattle is sending three-time Outstanding Batter of the Year and cornerstone Gregory Mudge to the Hickory Huskers. Mudge was accompanied by two young, promising reserves--Danny Lorenzen and Lonnie Machen--as well as Seattle's next first round pick.

"It's a tough day for the Monarchs family," said Shultz. "I mean, Greg has been with the Seattle organization since its inception and he has been a key piece of the team's success. But, you have to do what is best for the team."

What, you ask, could have garnered such a bounty? Seattle receives in return Dong Lutz and disgruntled outfielder Tony Demiras.

"I've always loved Dong," said Shultz. "I mean, he's got a big stick. He can really stroke it."

Word from inside the front office is that Seattle insisted on putting Mudge in the deal, and not for the salary dumping reason some may believe. Instead, Seattle wanted to try to make sure Mudge continued to play every day on his march to the SDMB OOTP Hall of Fame. "The last thing anyone wanted to see was Greg either sitting on the bench or being given away for nothing," said the insider known only as Sugar Bear. "That would have been really sad. Mack loved that guy and couldn't bear to see him hurt like that."

Lutz has been off to a slow start this year, hitting only .254. But, his consistent power, his perennial .400 OBP, and his youth (only 26 years old) made Lutz an irresistable target for Seattle. Lutz will clearly be the starting first baseman and a fixture in the middle of the order.

Demiras, who has complained about his playing time, is not likely to see things improve in Seattle. He is expected to take over the super-sub/pinch-hitter role filled so beautifully by Machen the last few years. Meanwhile, Bill Bivens, called up on June 16, will become the primary backup infielder.

As a final gesture, Seattle held an impromptu parade for Mudge on his way to the airport. Fans cheered heartily for the man with a career .904 OPS and who stands second on the all-time SDMB OOTP career home run list. It was a tough day for Mudge. "I love Seattle. It's the only place I've called home in the majors. But, I'll adjust to Hickory. For one thing, I've heard a dollar goes a lot farther there and that's nothing to sneeze at in these economic times."

Thursday, January 08, 2009

Sim 6 (June II): Who uploaded?

Los Angeles
New York
River Cities

Welcome to the All-Star Game, folks!

Next sim, next Thursday!!

Saturday, January 03, 2009

Free to a good home, aka the Great Los Angeles Fire Sale of 2013

Just an FYI: I put MR William Augustin on waivers, so he's free to anyone who wants to claim him in the next sim. If you want to make a deal with me for him (perhaps for some salary relief) I'm open to offers.

Other players available for trade are:

1B Ronald Aikin
SP Jeffrey Shuttleworth
SP Sherman Wheeler
MR Norman Fuentes
RF Hector Davila
LF George Rawlins

I'm looking for young near-majors-ready pitching, plus other prospects.

Friday, January 02, 2009

Seattle-Los Angeles Trade

Seattle today traded infielder Bill Mastrangelo to Los Angeles today in exchange for A-ball outfielder Lawrence Fenster.

"Basically, we all got sick of Bill's bitching," said Monarchs Owner/GM Mack Shultz. "I mean, I can understand a veteran wanting to play more often, but his OPS was under .400 for Pete's sake. I'm supposed to tell the manager to bench Deleon or Alustiza so he can have more opportunites to suck?"

Mastrangelo's only comment, after a long string of expletives, was "Thank God. Weintraub knows how to treat his players with respect. Not like that [expletives deleted] Shultz."

Meanwhile, little is known about the outfield prospect picked up in the deal, Lawrence "Leo" Fenster. He was a third-round pick in this Spring's draft and is hitting .316 in his inaugural campaign. While the league scouting service is unimpressed with Fenster's skills, reports are that Seattle's respected scout Lloyd Cash believes that Fenster is an elite talent. Most impartial observers, including some in the Seattle front office, wonder what Cash has been smoking.

Sim 5 (June I): Who Uploaded?

Los Angeles
River Cities

Next sim, Next Thursday

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