Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Sim 5: Who uploaded?

Seattle
Hickory
Saskatoon
Houston
River Cities
New York
Los Angeles
Danville
Cleveland

Seattle Acquires All-Star Second Sacker

May 27, 2012
AP (SEATTLE)

The Seattle Monarchs today acquired second baseman Duane Gerhardt from the Los Angeles Scorpions in exchange for reserve infielder Cristobal Santoyo, elite pitching prospect Roger Painter, and the Monarchs' first and eleventh round picks in next year's draft.

"We're delighted to add someone with Duane's talents to the team," said Seattle Owner/GM Mack Shultz. "He brings a good bat and his speed and basestealing is off the charts. He'll step right in as a starter and go into the top of the lineup given Sean Arant's injury. When Arant comes back, we think we'll have a pair of basestealers that this league has never seen."

Rumors swirled last year that the Monarchs had tried unsuccessfully to acquire Gerhardt before he was dealt by Covington (now Cleveland) to Los Angeles. Gerhardt went on to steal 82 bases and post an OPS of .889 while winning the Slick Fielder Award at second.

"We're also happy that Cristobal Santoyo likely will get a chance to start for Los Angeles. He's been great for us off the bench, and has been a very useful utility infielder," said Shultz. Santoyo has posted a .348 batting average and .452 OBP in 115 at bats over the three years since he was selected in the Rule 5 draft.

Roger Painter jumped to elite prospect status over the last offseason when he simultaneously improved his stuff, movement, and command. A fourth-round pick in 2011 by Seattle, he had a 2.08 ERA in five appearances last year with the Monarchs and has a 2.22 ERA as a starter this season in AAA Tacoma. "We liked Roger a lot," mused Shultz, "but we weren't sure whether he would fit best as a starter or reliever. Hopefully, he'll grow into a great starter for the Scorpions."

It would appear that Shultz has lost patience with prospect Danny Lorenzen, who will likely replace Santoyo as utility infielder alongside Robert Ramsey (who is three for four since coming over from Los Angeles in an earlier trade).

- Correspondent Max Mercy

Brooklyn Bags A Bomber

The Brooklyn Wolves are pleased to announce that they have acquired slugging 1B Luis Jeon from the Los Angeles Scorpions. Jeon, 26, a four-time All-Star, will immediately take over a first base and anchor a lineup that is already in second place in home runs hit this season. Jeon already has 200 career home runs (12th on the all-time list), 650 RBI (17th) and 599 walks (7th) is expected to lead the Wolves offense as they make their run against the Seattle Monarchs.

Going to left coast in this trade are 1B prospect John Hodge (who, ironically, was acquired from Los Angeles two seasons ago), RP Matthew Vowels and two draft picks in next year's draft (1st round and 5th round).

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Minor League Trade within Washington

The Seattle Monarchs today traded minor league reliever Darin Sitton across the Cascade Mountains to Walla Walla today for minor league outfielder James Thomas and a fourth round pick in next spring's draft. Sitton posted an ERA of 2.53 in AAA Tacoma last year and had a 3.38 mark this season.

Seattle Director of Player Personnel Michael Shultz explained that the Monarchs didn't see a role for Sitton on the major league squad, but felt that he was ready to contribute and were happy to find him a team where he had a better future. It's longstanding Monarchs policy not to unnecessarily stall players' careers.

Meanwhile, Thomas was added to the Monarchs' continuing RFP project ("Rehabilitating Failed Prospects"). Although the Monarchs' efforts in this direction have borne no fruit so far, they will continue to try.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Sim 4: Who uploaded?

Seattle
Saskatoon
Houston
River Cities
New York
Los Angeles
Walla Walla
Danville
Cleveland

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Sim 3: Who uploaded?

Seattle
Hickory
Saskatoon
Houston
River Cities
New York
Danville
Los Angeles
Walla Walla
Cleveland

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Seattle Marches to the Beat of Its Own Drum

April 29, 2012
AP (SEATTLE)

Maybe it's the rain. Maybe it's the coffee. Maybe it's success that has gone to their heads. For whatever reason, the Seattle Monarchs front office does things its own way, bucking conventional wisdom.

After two weeks of the 2012 campaign, Seattle unexpectedly stood at 5-9 and in last place. General Manager and Owner Mack Shultz shrugged it off, saying only, "They'll be fine."

The last two weeks saw the Monarchs tear off an 11-game winning streak before dropping yesterday's game in Brooklyn. Now, with everything seemingly working, the Mad Tinkerer is at it again, making multiple roster moves.

Despite having the best pitching in the league, Seattle has changed its field general. Alberto "Nitro" Granado has been promoted from AAA Tacoma to the major leagues and takes over as the starting catcher beginning tonight. Three-time Slick Fielder and two-time All Star Waylon Blassingame is being sent to the bench with only spot starts and pinch hitting appearances in his immediate future. Although off to a slow start at the plate, Blassingame did hit .350 last year, winning the batting title.

Meanwhile, last year's successful acquisition Stanley Raabe has been traded to New York, where he is expected to start, for minor leaguer Roger Nichols. Raabe had been Seattle's starting backstop against left-handed starters in a platoon with Blassingame and was one of the few Monarch hitters meeting preseason expectations. Now, suddenly, he's shipped off for an 18-year-old outfielder who has already been traded twice since the season started and is charitably described as a fringe prospect.

The Monarchs front office hasn't stopped there either. Seattle traded minor league reliever Angel Vinyals to Los Angeles for veteran infielder Robert Ramsey. Vinyals had been a ninth-round pick in this spring's draft and a revelation at AA Olympia, posting a 1.80 ERA. Meanwhile, Ramsey was hitting a pathetic .105 for Los Angeles and has a two-year contract for almost three million dollars per year.

The biggest loser in these changes was long-time Monarch George Wilde, who had done everything asked but now finds himself shipped back to AAA Tacoma. An excellent baserunner and cutup in the clubhouse, "The Wilde Man" had stolen a base and scored five runs as a pinchrunner. He even tripled in his only plate appearance of the season. Now, he gets to waste another year of his dwindling career in Tacoma.

Shultz addressed the media this morning, announcing the changes and answering questions in his typical manner. "Have you seen Granado hit?" Shultz condescendingly snapped at one male reporter. "He's as ready as he's ever going to be and it's his time to start. What would you have him do? Lead the minor leagues in hitting?"

When the reporter followed up by asking if the fact that the promotion of Granado was too late in the season to allow Granado to accrue a full year of service time was mere coincidence, Shultz glowered and loftily declared, "We don't screw our players over." (Isaac Frau, who was unreasonably shifted to AAA for a month last season despite a superb campaign and had arbitration and free agency delayed by a year as a result, may beg to differ.)

"Stanley was a valuable contributor," Shultz patiently explained to another reporter, an attractive female covering the team for GQ magazine, who asked about Raabe. "But he's 34 and the chance to get any kind of prospect for him was too good to pass up. Nichols may not be great, but he's young and has potential to improve. With Granado now starting every day and being a right-handed bat, Stanley just wasn't going to have much of a chance to play."

Sensing Shultz's mood, the press corps decided to let the leggy brunette keep asking the questions. When she asked about the acquisition of Ramsey, Shultz further explained his reasoning. "We were after Bob Ramsey in free agency, but he signed with LA. We were willing to offer him as much money as he got from Weintraub for this year alone, but we understood Michael kept Ramsey locked in a room until he signed. We also considered dealing for him in Spring Training, but couldn't reach agreement. Now, after a tough start, Michael was in a more reasonable mood and we found common ground. Vinyal is off to a good start, but he's a right-handed reliever and they're a dime a dozen."

"We don't expect Ramsey to be a hero. If he gets a few pinch hits and runs the bases well while stealing a few sacks as a pinch runner, we're good. In any case, let's discuss it over a drink," Shultz said as he led the journalist from the room, ending the press conference.

A scout for another team who asked to remain anonymous professed surprise at Seattle's moves. "The team is stuggling and he does nothing. They go 11-1, and he turns over the roster. Who knows what that idiot is doing?"

- Correspondent Max Mercy

Friday, May 09, 2008

Dude! Who Stole Our Bats?!

The Commissioner's Office is hereby announcing that they are opening an investigation into the activities of the Seattle Monarchs. During the Wolves recent road trip to Seattle to play the Monarchs, someone in the Monarch's employ secretly crept into the Wolves clubhouse and stole their bats. Of course, this gave the Monarchs an unfair advantage.

The proof for this is the fact that over the course of the three game series, the Wolves only managed to get four hits. Beau Manning had two, Miguel Cuesta had one and Joseph Bevers had the fourth. These brave players only managed to get hits by bravely and with much self-sacrifice, attempting to hit the ball with their bare hands. Of course, once the teams moved back to Brooklyn, the Monarch groundskeepers could no longer practice their skulldudgery and the Wolves managed seven hits and a victory.

The Commissioner's Office is investigating the matter. If it is found that the Monarchs cheated, the following punishments are being considered:

1. Forfiture of the Monarch's first round pick in the amateur draft for the next fifty seasons.
2. A salary cap of $5 million for the next twenty seasons
3. A rule stating that any runs in excess of one that the Monarchs score in any game don't count
4. A stipulation that Monarch batters can only use silly string for bats.
5. Monarch pitchers have to pitch from center field.
6. A ruling that all Monarch team flights have to pass over the South Pole.

The Commissioner's Office officially requests that any owners having information on the theft of Wolf bats in Seattle please come forward and give evidence.

Thank You.

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Sim 2; Who uploaded?

Hickory
Saskatoon
Houston
Seattle
River Cities
Danville
Los Angeles
Cleveland
New York
Walla Walla

Saturday, May 03, 2008

State of the Scorpions, sim 1 edition

The Los Angeles Scorpions got off to a strong start to the 2012 season with a dominating 7 2/3 shut-out inning performance from new ace starter Thomas Cohen. Over the first sim, the team finished 7-6, two games behind front runners River Cities. The two teams played twice in the last days of the sim, with River Cities squeaking out wins in both games as the bullpens in both teams uncharacteristically gave up late inning runs. The two teams play twice more in the second sim, as the Scorpions will travel up to Walla Walla, before returning to a homestand featuring Cleveland and River Cities, again, before traveling to Danville to finish April.

Who's Hot
Who's Cold
Down on the Farm
Game of the Sim

On April 6th, aces Thomas Cohen of Los Angeles and Frank Osborne of Danville met in their second starts of the season. Cohen, coming off 7 2/3 scoreless innings in Walla Walla on Opening Day, promptly gave up his first Zotti League runs in the form of a 2-run HR to Franklin Jackson in the bottom of the first inning. That was the only scoring until the 7th, as Frank Osborne cruised through the Scorpions's potent lineup. Once Robert Young led off the top of the 7th with a solo HR, the game took on a completely different tone.

In the 8th, Luis Jeon hit his 2nd HR of the season, a two-run shot off Noble Bryant to give the Scorpions a 3-2 lead. When LA's ace closer Junior Cuomo stepped onto the mound at the bottom of the 9th, even the sportswriters started heading for the exits. However, a one-out double by Stephen Herbert, followed by a broken-bat bloop single by Danville's Reggie Glatt quickly tied the game, stunning the stragglers in the original crowd of 13,944. Furious, Cuomo struck out Angel Bejar and Billy Hayton to force extra innings.

The two ace starters long forgotten in the game, Los Angeles batted around in the top of the 10th, scoring 4 runs, before Danville's Bill Mastrangelo hit a garbage time solo HR off William Augustin in the bottom of the 10th. Los Angeles wins 8-4.

Friday, May 02, 2008

Small Sample Size Theatre: 2012 Edition!

Time for another session of 'Small Sample Size Theatre' the show where we take statistical flukes from two weeks worth of games and extrapolate them out for the entire year. Science, schmience! It's entertainment!

First up, we present Cleveland's Center Fielder Christopher Pearsall! Hitting in all 13 games his team has played so far he's on pace to break Joe DiMaggio's hitting streak record by a mere 108 games! Even with the streak, though, he's only batting .288! Keep stretching them out, Chris!

Next up is New York's Chester Cohen! With 24 hits through the first sim we find him on pace for 299 hits on the season! Strive for that extra one, Chester! Get to 300 so we can play in the dark!

On the home run front we see true high-performance art with no fewer than FIVE players with FIVE home runs through the first sim. Those players, New York's Cohen, Hickory's Paul Shunk, Saskatoon's Brian Frison, LA's Luis Jeon, and River Cities Patrick Valdes are all on pace for 62 home runs on the season. Surely ONE of them can keep it up, right? Right?

It's clear that Chester Cohen is the standout offensive player as he also heads up the projected RBI race. At his current pace he'll ring up 224 RBI on the season!

In the 'R' column River Cities Valdes makes another appearance. He's on pace for a stunning 187 runs! That's more than one run per game for the year! Keep getting that aerobic exercise, Patrick!

River Cities habit of walking is showing itself in the BB column with SS John Hukill leading the pack with an anticipated count of 199 for the year. River Cities first baseman Gregorio Marzano is in third at 137 and ex-RC second sacker Palacio is in second at 150! Only the postman and those working near the Manganese plant on the Ohio walk!

On the pitching side we see three players on pace for 25 wins. Seattle's Joseph Macaluso and Brooklyn's Bill Olesen for the starters and Hickory's Dennis Martinez and River Cities Closer John Miller for the relievers! Can they do it? Only time will tell!

In the traditional relief pitcher domain of Saves we have three on pace for 50 saves. Seattle's Timothy Vallejo, Hartford's Dalton Davis, and LA's Junior Cuomo are in the lead. Disappointing that not one of them is poised to break the record of 57 set by Bobby Thigpen. You gotta show some heart, boys!

That's it for this month's edition of 'Small Sample Size Theatre'! Got any statistical anomalies you're like to share? Post them in the comments field below!

Thursday, May 01, 2008

Sim 1 Done... Things Are All Tied Up Atop The Adams

Who uploaded?

Hickory
Houston
Saskatoon
Seattle
Cleveland
Los Angeles
River Cities
Walla Walla

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