Thursday, March 27, 2008

The REAL story...

... behind the Rafael Collazo signing.

Zev Steinhardt disguised as Walla Walla Owner: Well, Mr. Collazo, we really look forward to having you join our team. We could always use someone of your talents in our outfield.

Rafael Collazo: No problem. I'm glad to get away from that hellhole in Brooklyn. Would you believe that that cheap, miserable owner in Brooklyn didn't want to give me a decent salary? You'd think after giving him six great years as an outfielder, he'd at least have the decency to give me a nice raise? No, not that guy. I tell you Steinhardt is a real bum.

Steinhardt: No, I understand. What were you getting from Brooklyn these last six years?

Collazo: A bit under $11 million. And you know what, I wouldn't have been greedy. Perhaps another three to four million as a reward for the years of service and I could have retired happy. But no, Steinhardt wouldn't cooperate. That's why I had to break off negotiations. I told him I'd be playing elsewhere next year, and I meant it! Now I have to go out and scrounge for work. Now, don't get me wrong... I'm very greatful for this opportunity that you're giving me. Heck, I don't mind working for a bit less to get away from that crumb.

Steinhardt: Yeah, he can be a bum, can't he? (laughs) Well, here's the contract we agreed on. Ready to sign?

Collazo: Sure. Say, why are you covering the team name?

Steinhardt: Um... standard policy here in Washington.

Collazo: That's a strange policy.

Steinhardt: Yeah, well... I guess we Washingtonians are strange. Yeah, that's the ticket. Just sign already!

Collazo: (signs) Okay. Boy am I glad to be as far away from Brooklyn as I can get. Clear across the country. And I never even have to play in Brooklyn again unless they somehow get into the Cecil Cup. Fat chance of that without me in their outfield.

Steinhardt: Well, um, yeah. Good luck. We'll see you in spring training.

(Collazo leaves)

Steinhardt: Boy, is he going to be surprised when this is filed with the league office. :)

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