Thursday, August 17, 2006

South Bay and Seattle pull off trade stunner

In their never-ending quest for excellence, the four-time Cecil Cup champion South Bay Scorpions are pleased to announce a blockbuster trade with perennial Cecil Cup foes Seattle Monarchs. 11 players and over $40 million in salary are being exchanged up the I-5 corridor between the two dynasties.

Heading up to Seattle is star CF Sean Arant, promising SP Bradford McGreevy, SS Emmanuel Fernandez, SP Cristian Sedillo, and versatile infielder Charles Novotny.

In return, South Bay receives ace SP Albert Garcia, plus LF Willie Kropp, SP Joe Daye, IF Robert Young, minor league SP Anthony Koepp, and Seattle's 2nd round pick in the forthcoming 2009 amateur draft.

"We couldn't sit around after losing the Zotti League last year," Owner/GM Michael Weintraub explained while watching the sun set over the ocean in his Redondo Beach, CA home tonight. "Our team is striving for an unprecedented fifth title, and with this deal, we think we're back where we belong."

"Last season, starting pitching was our weakest element. It kills me to deal Sean Arant, but we had to do it to get pitchers of the caliber of Garcia, Day, and Koepp. I believe that, with a rotation already featuring Wendell Sorg, Luis Diaz, and Casey Plunk, Garcia and Daye give us the strongest 1-5 rotation in the league."

When asked if this blockbuster ends the offseason for the Scorpions just as it's starting, Weintraub laughed. "No, we're never done. I still have plenty of money and interest in free agents and other trades."


SEATTLE, Wash. -- The Seattle baseball community was stunned today by the massive trade involving two of the team's best loved players. Albert Garcia, the winningest pitcher in SDMB OOTP history, and Willie Klopp, who was the franchise's ninth round pick in the original expansion draft, were dealt today in a massive swap with the South Bay Scorpions.

Garcia went 54-20 with a 2.32 ERA since coming to Seattle in a deadline deal in 2005. He has been in the top five in ERA every year since 2003 and last year's 2.13 was a career low. Garcia could not be reached for comment, but fans spoke of their love for this icon. "He may be well known around the league, but he was really popular here. He was our ace," said Joe Schmoe, sitting at a local watering hole. "I don't know how they expect to fill his spot at the top of the rotation." Schmo then speculated that GM Mack Shultz's parents may not have been legally married at his birth.

Klopp, the career leader in walks, is also a beloved figure in town. He sounded stunned by the trade. "I've been in Seattle my whole career. South Bay's been a major rival and now I'm moving there. It's going to be weird," said Klopp as he slowly shook his head.

Schmoe also reminisced about the 6'4" 240 pound Klopp. "For a big guy, he was one hell of a leadoff hitter. Really great." Schmo then spilled his drink and wondered if Shultz's mother was canine.

The deal also included Joe Daye, a member of Seattle's rotation since he came over in a deadline deal in 2004, ironically from the Stockholm team which has since moved to South Bay. "I'm going back to my old team, but I'm not sure if there's many people there I'm going to know," wondered Daye. "There's a couple, but there's a lot of turnover, you know."

"Joe too? Sh**. Is there anyone they didn't trade?" asked Schmoe before calling the bartender over for another beer. Schmoe also theorized that Shultz's relationship with his mother is a little too friendly.

Also dealt in the trade was 2B Robert Young, who came up last year after Seattle traded Lee Chaparro and filled in as the backup second baseman. This beloved player will also be missed. "Who?" mumbled Schmo over his sixth Guinness. "Oh yeah, Young. Sure, we'll miss him. I guess."

As if that was not enough, Seattle also sent minor league stud starter Tony Koepp and this year's second round pick. Schmoe, having slumped under his bar stool, could not be reached for comment on the loss of Koepp and the pick.

"I'm really going to miss those guys," said Greg Mudge, the two-time defending league Outstanding Batter of the Year. "They came out to play every day. Willie was always on base for me to drive him in and Al and Joe gave us a chance to win every single day."

"I'll tell you what," summarized Schmo, a little later and after returning from the lavatory while wiping his mouth. "My fan interest is going to decline A LOT with this deal. I'd have rated it a 98 this morning, but I think it may be as low as a 92 or 93 tonight. Maybe lower."

So, who are the five players Seattle picked up in return? Could they possibly replace the players Seattle dealt? Only time will tell.
Initial reactions from around the South Bay:

SP Bradford McGreevy: "I'm never going to win a Cup, am I? I was traded to South Bay last season, and my old team, River Cities won this year. And, now, Seattle? You've got to be kidding me!"

SS Emmanuel Fernandez: "I'm excited at the opportunity to play. I was signed with the promise to be the starter, but that kid Peppers usurped me. I hope the Monarchs have room in their lineup for me."

SP Cristian Sedillo: "Being traded for a legend like Albert Garcia will always be on my baseball card. My grandkids are going to love that!"

IF Charles Novotny: "I've been traded several times in the past year. It's nice to be wanted, I guess."

Sean Arant was unavailable for comment. He is currently on location in Hawaii, shooting his first music video. His forthcoming solo album "Lead Off" is due on Def Jam records in June 2009.

Fans of the Scorpions are planning a welcoming rally for Garcia, Klopp, Young, and Daye, scheduled for this weekend.
Bravo, Mack. Bravo.
Well, I am a published sportswriter.


OK, it was doing write-ups of my high school's games in the local small-town paper (the Issaquah Press) when I was a junior and senior in high school, but still.
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